Jesus Christ Superstar

This year we decided to celebrate my birthday with a visit to a Wimbledon New Theatre to see Jesus Christ Superstar. It was both professional and emotionally moving. The audience applauded to every song. I sat and asked Holy Spirit to move upon the people. While it was not a church meeting, the theme was enough for God to use it to at least make some in the audience think and have some questions. This was how I met God. I thought, and I had questions.

God sees the heart and answers our questions. What He did to me, He is willing to do to the others.

On my way to the venue I read over half of a book I had taken along. The Quest for Spiritual Hunger by Roberts Liardon. The book stirred my hunger. There were things I used to teach. Things that I knew but had not practiced in depth. I was still hungry, that for sure. I was still desirous. But I had also encountered some challenges along the way and as a result my hunger had decreased. Which is why I picked up namely this book.

If you are in such place, every prop is welcome. Heidi Baker was burnt out and she visited the meetings in hopes of catching the fire. God was able to use Randy Clark to reignite her passion and she has been running with her call ever since. When she came to his meeting, she was she was spiritually drained and physically ill with double pneumonia. At the time, she considered working at K-mart and leaving her call to ministry. The first thing that happened was that she was completely healed; right after the healing she had a vision. She saw Jesus—burning eyes of a burning love. God came to her. She ran to the altar, raised her hands, and started shouting, “Yes!” And the fire of God hit her. There was no altar call.

Randy Clark, who did not know her, said, “God wants to know if you want the nation of Mozambique.”

Heidi shouted, “Yes!” Then the fire hit her, the power hit her. She started vibrating with power and shouted, “God, I am going to die!”

God said, “Well, I want you to die. You see, you have to die to yourself to live indeed, so you can really take the glory of God.”

What happened to her? What can the anointing do? As we mentioned, it has a wonderful debilitating effect. He caused Heidi to literally fall apart like a fabric doll for a whole week. And yet it wasn’t the craziest thing He did to her. Right after that, for seven days and seven nights God left her disabled. She had to be carried around by her husband. People had to bring her in and out of her hotel in Toronto on a suitcase cart. She says, “Then, they had to take me to the restroom. That was the most humiliating time of all my life.”

Why would God do such a thing? Heidi said she needed to learn to love and to depend not only on Jesus but also on His people. God told her, “You can do nothing without the Body of Christ.” And He caused her to be so handicapped that for seven days and seven nights she had to learn that she did not need Jesus only, she also needed His Body.

https://www.destinyimage.com/blog/bruno-ierullo-heidi-bakers-testimony-the-transforming-power-of-the-anointing

A similar fading had happened to me also earlier. I overstayed my welcome at a certain church and it had a spiritual effect on me.

I had taken a similar step which came with its consequences. I stayed no matter what because I trusted I had heard from God. Was it God? It certainly had not been my imagination or desire speaking. It had to be Him. He pointed at this place as a most sustainable option. (I still think it is the most sustainable option in the given circumstances! - I had some history there. But... similar to the previous experience...I just could not hear. They spoke in a monotonous softspoken tone which I had never been able to hear. I was born normal but during the delivery a quinine injection robbed part of my hearing. And without a restorative creative miracle there is nothing I can really do about it. So, I went to church and did what I could do. But there was an important portion which I could not do anything about. The preaching. I heard bits and pieces but that was not enough to make it and gradually it started eroding my spiritual state.

We are not to rely on anyone's preaching. We are all the children or biblically "the sons of God" and called to have our own relationship with Him which edifies us and keeps us strong in our spirit. Yet, church has a big importance. And this was all I had already lived through. These were also part of my protestations when I discerned that Holy Spirit was leading me back to this place. I had tried it during lockdown and on many occasions - too many to count - I just could not hear a thing. I went to the actual venue. The same happened over and over again. I tried to be a good Christian and make the most of the experiences. I made the most of the worship and other times while I could seldom hear the preaching. I still attended my church but during the preaching I used to sit there, in my seat, hearing nothing but a few Scriptures and random sentences. - There were rare instances when the preachers used the microphone and made it sure it was loud enough. I had even raised the issue with the ones who as if were of more importance. They tried their best. At first. Then they forgot. Plus, since there was no pastor, many of the guest speakers used a similar softspoken tone.

This made me visit other places. They were not what I took as my spiritual home but at least I heard the talking. The preaching was not the same (I loved my place with a reason!). It was good but I saw my church as a superior place. I loved the spirit of the place and many guest speakers shared the same kind of a beautiful spirit.

Now we all share in the same Spirit of God and are His spiritual children or spirit beings after our new birth from above. But there was a sweet kind spiritual attitude in that place. It was marked by goodwillingness. We had a lady over. She was visiting the church. She approached the person who was in a leadership position in the absence of a pastor and asked for a microphone. She had a word for the church. - The word came out in a different spirit and the man in charge had to ask her to stop.

Luke 9:55 ► King James Bible But he turned, and rebuked them, and said, Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of.

While they all shared in the same Holy Spirit, they operated under the influence of something else which was not in accord with the Word and the heart of God.

I had the above in mind.

There have been instances where the mention of love or walking in love has been met with furious opposition. Good intents but with a wrong channel which has added a specific hue to the expression.

In case of the visiting church guest who felt that she had to share something with the church, she was trying to do a good thing. But it came out wrong and it was only right for the person in charge to ask her to return the microphone. It released condemnation.

Again, it is easy to see condemnation in everything which comes as correction. Correction is biblical while condemnation is not.

What is their difference?

One comes out of a heart of love which leaves room for improvement and attempts to raise us to a higher level while another leaves no room for anything else and just slams the door, leaving a label.

Have you met any people who have been doing the same to you? Who have approached you in their "Christian love" which does not help you in any way. It leaves you beaten, broken and downtrodden. Hopeless.

I talked a few years ago to a Christian minister before his death. His instant reaction was to tell me that "he knew me!" although we had not met since 1993 which was almost a lifetime ago. He had been condemned and deported from a country of my origin. He clearly was at fault, at least to a certain degree. Some charges against him were fabricated. I had attended court trials in Norway to help defend his name but he never managed to forgive me for not following him to Russia after our bible school split. I stayed put for Holy Spirit told me to stay in my homeland. Also, I was with a three-year old child who accompanied me everywhere at the time as I was a single mother and it was the only way to do anything.

Later when we spoke, he relented and seemed to change his thinking of me. He was kind and promised to give a good character reference of me if anyone was going to turn to him which was why I had approached him. Then he died.

The moral of the abovementioned was that whatever he might have had in mind, or whatever he might have held against me (I saw no reason, but he might have held a different idea - it was his prerogative to hold his own opinion of me) - we are all in constant change. I was not the same thirty or forty years ago. I was not the same last year, or yesterday. We are all in constant evolvement, one revelation at a time. This is how God "makes us". Whenever we do anything wrong, pass a wrong decision or err anywhere, Holy Spirit moves upon our heart and a momentary understanding cleanses our heart and brings about a change. This is the way of God.

When He points out that we are on a wrong way, He does it for our good.

When condemnation is used, it comes with a label with no way for the redemption.

God is redemptive.

He has only our good in mind.

He sees us as redeemed and wholly good.