Doing the right thing

Sometimes, we just have to do the right thing.
Even if it hurts.

It is the matter of our conscience, and integrity.

I have chosen to pass one such, rather consequential decision. It is going to alter my life in certain ways. In a way, for worse. In another way, for better. But it was a right choice.

I was something that gave me my freedom back. It was also something with financial consequences. But it was a right thing to do. Not for me, but for the others, affected by my choice. And these others may never even know it. But if I would have chosen different, I would have been no better than Judas who sold Jesus down the river for thirty pieces of silver. My conscience did not allow me to do it. Hence I chose to go the hard way for me, but it was a way which honoured and respected the right to freedom for the others. Especially as it is the 28th re-independence Day of the Republic of Estonia today, which officially gained its independence in 1918. It was forced by violence, and annexed as a by-product of backroom talks of the World Powers after the World War II. And on the eve of such monumental day which freed us once again from under the iron rule of the other, I could not help, but pass the decision which sat with my conscience and gave me peace, no matter the consequences it brought along to me.

God was, although, as ever, quick to confirm, and place His Hand underneath. Moments after the decision was made, and connections severed, He sent a lot of work, a 333 page document of the Erasmus programme project which I had previously agreed to do, but forgotten about, since the above had taken my life over with incessant work which had quite managed to tilt the balance, and overturn the reason why I became self-employed. Something had to give way, and so when encountering a rather direct threat made to me in a conflicting situation which had little to do with me myself, and all to do with another nation and its right for self-government, I took the weekend to consider, but knew I had to go against the flow to maintain a good conscience. And here I am, free from the shackles. After a decision that effectively dried and clogged that well. As there were consequences - but feeling good. As I knew, it was a right thing to do. And in a way, it brought also me my freedom back. For I took up the self-employed work not for the work to start reigning and ruling me, with me building everything in my life around it, but for me to go do God's work in Paul's way - by using the little talent I had, to pay my bills, while maintaining my liberty to be available for God and His people while running with the vision He had entrusted into my hand. And it switched everything back. For even if more work flooded in, it left me with my regained ability to be in charge of my time, once again - so that work no longer dictated my days (and nights, and weekends, and yes, it had quite grown out of proportion - but the things we do for the sake of money...or more like once you accept a contract, it comes as it is), but was back in a position where it supported the work I did for God - which was the central and most important thing in my life.

Now, yes, also the latter can threaten to overgrow our life to the degree where we may have to scale it down. For eventually it is not about the work we do for God than He Himself, who needs to be the central point in our life. So, He may take us momentarily to the point where even that, if it has grown to be an idol, overshadowing the rest, may fall....like any idols do. (1 Samuel 5:3-4)